Is there anyone else out there who is 43, single, and unemployed? Not just single, but childless and single? Not just childless and single, but never married, childless and single and unable to keep a job. It feels pretty lonely.
The thing is, on the outside I seem like I could be successful in any of those areas. I am attractive, not super model but I have turned heads. I am smart. I love children. Yet here I am alone, jobless and past childbearing age.
I feel like I dont have any people. You know? I don’t have the married couple crowed or the mom crowed or the successful professional crowd. I have friends. I am blessed with great and wonderful friends, but I dont have that place I fit in.
I have my married with young kids friends and they are too busy for me. I have intellectual decided not to have kids friends but they are too smart for me. I have single female friends who run their own businesses and chose to be alone. I have divorced friends with kids. Divorced friends with kids. I also have gym friends who, frankly, I hope I never see outside of the gym…they come in all types…married, professional, meatheads, kids, no kids.
I have no one. None of my friends are like me. None are never married, unemployed and childless. Not one.
Are there any of me out there? Am I really alone?
When I thought I was “crazy” it was easier. Who would want crazy. But when I thought I was crazy I desperately clung to a man who was hurting me. I am not crazy. I am sensitive. I am emotional. I have had trauma that built on trauma and all that crap…
Why though, with all my potential, and I had potential…why am alone, childless and unemployed?
My last workplace said if anything ever came up I was interested in they would hire me for sure. Im friends with all my exes except tha last one because he is a douche bag and was a waste of two valuable years of my life. Like I said, I have amazing friends…but I feel like I dont fit in the world. I have not achieved any of the key success points.
Well…just wondering…are there any of me out there?
Its not the same if you have been married…are married and childless…horribly disfigured (no offense)….but are there any average people…looking, intelligence, families, friends…are there any of you who have failed as miserably as me??
PS anyone who reads my old posts, my last relationship almost killed me. He was a trigger for past trauma and mostly just an asshole